Can someone tell me how I can get sleep, I am physically exhausted completely but nothing seems to be working. I am not even able to collapse sleep like I used to, every time I try to sleep in complete exhaustion, it’s like my brain doesn’t stop working and it leaves me feeling completely unrested. Added to that is the fact that I have been getting very little sleep these last few days and that is completely unhealthy for me. But there has also been a fear, a fear of myself and what I am capable of doing to myself and this fear also keeps me disturbed and restless. It is not a nice feeling at all, to feel like you cannot sleep even though there is nothing else you want more than to just sleep. Well, in my case, I also want human comfort, or more specifically, my mother’s comfort. It is quite childish of me, I will admit, but the heart wants what it wants.
I just want to be hugged and held I guess, in a completely selfish way. Oh wonderful, it all ties back to that one thing, I want to be loved, great job. I have successfully managed to, within the space of this one blog post paragraph, reach the root cause of my problems. Voila, deconstruction project successful. Now, can someone suggest a model that will work to use this and help me become better? Unfortunately, no one is interested in that intellectual exercise, it seems (and this obviously includes myself because what am I if not a hypocrite). Okay, I am actually going to cut this post short right now because I need to get to bed. But before that, I just feel the need to say that the smog has arrived and so has winter and I am not cherishing either of those things. Please give me a reason to continue breathing in this world, please?
And that’s my memory for the day.
The Memory Of A Storyteller 