The thing about travelling is that I am a very bad traveller in general. I am constantly under the impression that I would have forgotten something, misplaced something, done something wrong, something or the other. Packing ruins me, I am constantly anxious about it, constantly anxious if I have forgotten something on the way. I am checking my pockets (or whatever pockets women’s pants generally have, which are sad excuses for pockets) if I have everything I brought, or if my phone is properly inside and not just hanging outside for anyone passing by to just pluck out. It is a nightmare for myself and this generally keeps me off travelling unless I am going by a mode of transport like our own car (I would love for a time to come when I can say “my own car”), where even if `i forget something, chances would be that it would be inside the car and I can easily retrieve it.
This all started especially after one extremely saddening event when I was pretty young, around 4 or 5 years old. I have always generally been very protective and careful with my belongings, I get attached to these things very easily and I find it very difficult to part with my belongings. Ths meant that all my toys, every single item I had (including my clothes, caps, rubber bands, etc) were kept in as neat a condition as four-year-old me could manage. This strong attachment also made me find it very difficult to cope with the loss of any of my possessions. If it was stolen, it would be painful. But what would be more painful was losing a possession out of my own carelessness or forgetfulness. That would make me beat myself up over for days, I would sometimes dream about it also. This happened when I lost my earphones back in March, this year.
But yes, back to this story. We had been travelling by train, during the night, in the AC 3 tier coach. The AC 3 tier coach is a wonderfully comfortable coach to travel during a nighttime journey. You get warmed pillows, sheets and a heavy comforter, the berths are wider and you have these nice pockets to the side of the berth where you can keep your stuff in. Those pockets, those were the cause for my distress that time. The AC 3 tier coach was always in quite a precarious position, the AC would sometimes be too cold and sometimes it would be non-existent. This was after all not a very major inconvenience for me because I was quite comfortable in my carefully laid out sheets and the temperature was maintained quite nicely.
That day I had on a beautiful white and red cap, a sweater cap that came as a pair with a sweater I wore. That night I removed my cap and carefully stowed it away on that pocket by the side of my berth. I had gotten a top side berth, which generally has wider berths than usual and moreover, it was fun to climb up on it. And one could sit on it comfortably without their head banging against the roof or the bottom of the berth on top. It was all in all quite a wonderful experience and as per usual, my father meticulously laid out the sheets, the comforter, the pillow and when I got settled in, made sure I was nicely covered and my cap was nicely in place. Because it was an AC coach, there was no fear of thieves and the AC was also working quite wonderfully that night.
All was fine, morning came, I woke up, finished my morning ablutions, the train arrived at our station and we all got down and made our merry way home. When we reached home and started unpacking our bags, to get laundry done and to put away all the food we had brought, my mother asked me about the cap. I felt like someone dropped a huge sack on top of me, the realisation that I had missed my cap on the train hit me hard. I could not get off that feeling, my beautiful cap, the one I had so carefully stowed away in that pocket, I had merrily forgotten it. I was guilt-ridden for a few days, I even would dream of finding that cap on a side bag, or that my mother would just look at me, smile and tell me that she had found it and had fooled me. But no, the cap was well and truly lost as well as my casual attitude about travelling. I have always been quite maniacal about travelling ever since. Now, since we are travelling once again tomorrow, I am much more worried. Hopefully, the trip will be a good one, right?
And that’s my memory for the day.